Archive for April, 2008

School Break

So Edison had yet another week off from school this past week.  Not being a native New Yorker, I’m a bit perplexed about why there is so much time off from school during the spring and then the last day of school is JUNE 26th!  Seriously, June is supposed to have a solid chunk of summer vay-cay in it and we get something along the lines of TWO DAYS (b/c really, you shouldn’t be counting the weekend).  Anyway, we had a nice relaxed time hanging out (Edison, Claudia and I) but I got nothing done and the house looks like a tornado ripped through it.  Frightening.

                                             

Monday was spent [nearly ALL DAY] at a birthday party for his friend Ethan at Chuck E. Cheese.  I both love and hate Chuck E. Cheese.  I love that for years Edison thought it was Chuck E. Jesus.  I hate that there are so many blinking lights I always feel about one breath away from a seizure.  I love that the kids are so thrilled to be there they can’t stand still.  I hate that the kids can’t leave without a melt-down.  Edison, who is generally a bit shy in nature, was so excited for Chuck-ee to say “Happy Birthday” to Ethan that he kept hunting down employees until the giant stuffed rodent actually did make an appearance.  Although both boys were disappointed by the fact that he only waved and his mouth didn’t move. 

 

The rest of the week was filled with playdates (even Claudia had one with a fellow one year old), meeting dad for lunch in Albany and a trip to a local playground.

           

   “Whatchoo talkin’ about Willis?”

 

 

Here we are packed up and heading home after an afternoon with just a little too much fun for Claudia.  🙂  Edison and I made bets on how long it would take her to fall asleep on the way home since she was sooo wiped out.  Edsion won. 

Heading Home after a tiring afternoon.

Dwelling in the shelter of the most High

Sometimes I have difficulty writing about the more serious things that are going on in my world.  I tend to be a private person – revealing my heart to only a few close friends, but the fun & funny side of our lives is only a partial picture and lately I’ve been feeling like I should just write a little bit about what the Lord has been challenging me with in these last few months.  It’s hard to know where to start…

 

There has been a splitting in our lives.  The Lord has chosen – in His infinite wisdom and kindness [though it may not seem to be kindness to the carnal mind, but we know it is His KINDNESS that leads us to repentance (Romans 2:4)] to reveal some of the failings & unrepentant heart nature of someone that we looked up to greatly in ministry.  Someone who we care greatly for and have learned much from.  But this person has hardened their heart to the message of the cross and started to care more about their image than Jesus.  So there was a separation.  A split. 

 

I am a sinner saved by the grace of my Lord Jesus Christ.  I fail daily.  Hourly even.  I need Him to cleanse me, forgive me, renew me…I have utmost compassion on those who sin & repent.  However, when we say we have no sin, THE TRUTH is not in us.  If we CONFESS our sins HE is FAITHFUL & Just to Forgive us our sins & cleanse us from all unrighteousness […and this is where it gets harder…] If we say we have no sin we make Him a liar and His word is not in us. (1 John 1:8-10)  Who is THE TRUTH?  Jesus!  How do we repent?  It is only His Kindness that leads us to repentance.  His goodness. His mercy.  Nothing that is in my flesh wants to do that – my nature wants to be self-righteous — but if I am self-righteous I say that I am too good for His cross!   My righteousness is as filthy rags!  But His Righteousness cleanses me and makes me pure again and again.  My heart feels so broken from this split – people I love who the Lord has asked us to walk away from for now.   But I trust my Father in heaven to lead me in this journey on earth and I must obey His voice no matter what others are saying to me.  I have to follow Him who has given me my life.

 

In my brokenness, this is what the Lord says to me.  Worship Me anyway.  Even when you don’t “feel” like it.  I am still worthy to be praised.  Worship Me anyway.  I am the same God who has healed your body, your heart, your soul.  I am the same Jesus who loved you when you were broken.  I am the same God who loves you now – imperfections and all.  Do not look to your left or to your right.  Look into My eyes.  Look at Me.   He has whispered it over and over to me — worship Me.  Overcome this heartache – trust Me.  Let Me be God.  For you.  For them

 

I realize as the earth is shifting under my feet – things that I believed to be true, but were not true – my heart is being challenged.  Worship Me for I am worthy to be praised.   I Am TRUE.  Though our friends may disappoint us.  Though people in ministry aren’t who they say they are.  They are just human.  But God is still God.  He is still worthy of my praise.  When I don’t feel like singing, this is when I must  sing!  This is what I know to be true.  We are all human.  We all sin.  We have all fallen short of the glory of God.  We can sin greatly and still have a HEART AFTER GOD (anyone hear of DAVID???)  but the key is to still have the heart longing to know God — a heart that repents, that wants to please God more than men.  When that is gone, what is left?   I also know that God is a God who can restore, renew, and heal all sorts of breaches.  And as we walk through this life we only ever see a tiny part of what God is doing even in our own little worlds.  I need to stop thinking that I am seeing the whole picture.  That I understand what it is that God is doing.  It is not always for me to understand, but it is for me to worship Him anyway.  To lift my hands and praise Him because He is good.  And He IS good.

 

And so my heart is reduced to a simple place of thanks.  Thanks to God for my husband, who is a wonderful representative of Christ’s love in my life.  For my children who are a true gift from God when the doctors all said they “could not happen” (and yet here they are!)  For my home.  For the peace in my days.  For my God, who loves me through my weaknesses and shortcomings (of which there are many).  And I thank Him even that my heart is being reduced – because you know when you are cooking and need to “reduce” something that it becomes more potent.  More intense.  In this reduction I pray that my heart becomes even more strengthened in my love and faith in Him.

 

I WiLL Worship.  I WiLL Praise His Name.   I Will say to the Lord “My refuge and my fortress. My God, in whom I trust!”

Signs of Spring

It’s finally starting to get warmer here.  Hooray!  [and by warmer to all of my southern friends, I mean the high-50’s…it’s all relative].  But the sun has been warm enough to  coax some beautiful little buds out of their hibernation underground.  When Edison saw some of the little green daffodil buds coming out of the ground he yelled “Mom!  Come quick!!!!  There are ‘signs of spring’ (must be kindergarten lingo b/c I don’t think I’ve actually ever said those words to him) – can I pick them?”  No baby.  Let’s let the flowers actually grow before we pick any.  And hopefully we’ll pick them before the goat gets to them.  Have I mentioned there are new baby goats?  Or that the other day I came home and there was a big horse & a pony GALLOPING around my yard!  GALLOPING PEOPLE!  I couldn’t even get out of my car for a few minutes until they went back to gallop on their own yard (which may I remind you is only 1 acre…and not fenced in…and on Route 20 – a major highway that goes from Boston to Oregon…Even though we’re “rural” it isn’t quite that  rural…)  But I digress….signs of spring are happy for the most part.  Neighbor animal invasion is not.

 

Yesterday Edison’s bus got into an accident – everyone was OK – but a driver in a car behind the bus was talking on his cell phone & drinking something (non-alcoholic -just distracting to him) and didn’t stop when the bus did, so he drove right into the bus.  It was a little frightening to me because Claudia & I were outside waiting for him to get home and we waved to the bus as it went west on the other side of the divided highway & then it is usually 3 minutes later that we see the bus coming towards us on a normal afternoon…only this time I was waiting 10.  Then 15.  Then 20 minutes…Then I went inside to get the phone that was ringing from the bus garage saying the bus had been in an accident but they wouldn’t give me any details other than (“We are under the impression that all of the kids are OK”) and I was also told that I wasn’t allowed to go get him (even though he was within 2 miles of my house).  40 minutes later he is delivered to our driveway via a new bus.  Grumpy & needing to pee.  But no worse for the wear.  🙂  Thank God! 

 

Claudia has officially entered (?) the stage where she will look back on her pictures as a teenager and be mad at me.  I can’t help it.  It’s like a disease.  It started out innocently enough with trying to figure out what to do with these wispy “bangs” that are growing like wildfire and are always in her eyes — so along came these tiny little ponytails [you may have to look closely as the picture is kind of dark]….

But then came the ribbons….I know they venture onto dorky territory but she is so dang funny looking in them that I keep putting them in her hair for a giggle.

 

The Hills are Alive…

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Oh my goodness.  I could eat these until I was sick.  They are that good.  Shockingly good.   Do you see how many times I have used the word “good”?  It is not enough times to describe their goodness.  Yummmm….good….

So it’s been a crazy week here in the Roberts household.  Garrison & I are both playing in the “pit” for a local high school production of the Sound of Music.  The shows are this weekend and then we’ll be back to a semi-quiet life again.  This week has involved long dress rehearsals, scheduling babysitters, rescheduling piano students to fit in the squashed amount of time I have free between school ending and the rehearsals beginning, etc…So that is maybe why I’ve been eating all of those Ginger Lemon cookies…er, excuse me, English Tea Cookies.  That sounds much more proper and healthy some how.